5 Years later

Five years. Just how much can change in five years? Compared to a span of 20 years, five doesn't seem like that long of a time. But look at it this way: you're in kindergarden, and five years later you're entering 5th grade. You've gone from learning the basics of writing letters and numbers and how to read words, to actually reading textbooks to learn and doing advanced math problems and working with fractions and decimals. In five years, you go from the upper grades of elementary school to the first year of high school. In five years, you're done with high school and you're either starting college or starting longer working hours (or both, in some cases).

In the past five years since high school, a lot has changed in my life. I went from a teenager who dreaded church and thought it was boring to a 23-year old who looks forward to reading the Bible every day and who desires to hear God's direction for her life. I tried doing things my own way and learned that God's way is best. I've been through two job layoffs and I am back at the company I started with (although I'm still waiting for a "permanent" position in the company). I've seen my dad's health get worse, with bad days outnumbering the good - and I still struggle to be the encouragement my mom needs. My best friend since middle school and I have drifted apart and we don't really talk anymore - and I never saw that coming. However, I have developed a closer friendship with a friend from my senior year in high school. After struggling with being with the wrong person for years, once I surrendered everything to God He brought me to the right person, and we have been happily married for 3 months. It hasn't been trouble-free: life has thrown some challenges at us already, and we have had to take a few risks. But we stand together and face life as a united front.

Here is a list of things I've learned in the first five years after high school:

1. Faith is not about following religious rules, being a good person, and going to church every week. Faith is having your own relationship with God and trusting Him even when things are hard and don't make sense. You're not just going to church: you are the church.
2. God's grace and salvation through Christ beats anything this world could ever offer. With these gifts (because they're free...you don't have to do anything except accept them) comes peace and strength, plus freedom from guilt and shame regarding mistakes we've made.
3. Take the lessons of experience from those around you into consideration when making big decisions.
4. If you don't sincerely believe something you're saying, people can tell.
5. Be careful with getting into debt for a car. Either save up and pay for it outright, or buy something affordable that's also reasonably new with low mileage. The longer your payment terms, the more repairs and maintenance you are going to have on top of your payment. This drains money FAST.
6. Your parents want the best for you, and they want you to be happy. However, they are human and sometimes make mistakes in the way they communicate their concerns.
7. High school drama seems silly once you've been out in the real world for a while.
8. Debit cards are great, but it's best to pull out a limited amount of spending money and stop spending once it's gone. Watching the money coming out of your wallet is more effective than swiping plastic through a machine.
9. Be careful with credit card debt. It is very easy to rack up your balance above what you can pay off in one payment. You are more likely to think twice about charging large amounts,  but it's the multiple smaller amounts that get you.
10. Refuse to be the only responsible one in a dating relationship. There should never been one person paying for everything. If they don't want to lift a finger financially, RUN. If they don't want to get a job, RUN FASTER.
11. The former me that thought church and the Bible was boring would have seen what this list was and just skip over it...but I challenege you to read them anyway, and at least consider what a few of them mean to you. Here are some verses that I live by:
• Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
• Proverbs 4:23 - Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
• Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
• Psalm 16:8 - I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
• Romans 2:4 - Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you?
• Romans 12:12 - Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
• 2 Corinthians 4:18 - So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
• Ephesians 3:20 - Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
• Ephesians 4:2 - Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.
• Philippians 4:13 - For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
• 1 Timothy 4:12 - Don't let anything think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
• 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Something's coming soon

I've been having this feeling lately that God is about to move in a big way in my life. I have no clue what that's going to look like just yet, but I just have this unsettled feeling that something is coming. I mentioned this at the beginning of July, but the feeling keeps getting stronger.

I feel like God is challenging me to step out of my comfort zone in two areas: leadership and volunteering. It all started last spring when I was in my first small group from church, and the leader contacted me one day and wanted to meet. She said she really saw leadership potential in me, and ever since then I've been reading a couple blogs on leadership. Chris and I even signed up for the Newspring Leadership Conference that is happening in September. Just recently Chris discovered the book Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman, and we both ended up reading it. He has decided to start an eGroup about this book, and I'm excited about this starting up. Even though he's the official leader, as his wife I will definitely have some part in leading the group.

Concerning volunteering, I have been on the greeting team at Elevation since last March. This position is somewhat challenging for me, because even though I like to smile and be welcoming, I'm also an introvert and therefore naturally quiet. However, a few months ago David McGuirk was standing at the Next Level table, and we started talking (he was a part of my Starting Point group when I accepted Christ in 2009). He told me that I should consider volunteering on the Next Level team, and at the time I was very intimidated by the idea. My biggest fear is that I will not know what to say, especially when it comes time to pray with the person who has just received Christ. However, the thought has been resurfacing recently. I am making sure that this is from God and not just me feeling bored with where I'm currently serving.

I was reading a devotional a few days ago, and the main scripture for that day was Joshua 1:1-9. These verses have been speaking to me about both of these situations, along with my life in general. I've always said that I'm happy being someone's assistant and handling the details, and I'd rather someone else be the face to present the information. Joshua 1:1 challenged me on this, where Joshua was called "Moses' assistant." God appointed an assistant to be a leader...and a leader of a very big movement, at that. Then God promises this in verses 5 and 9: "I will not fail you or abandon you...be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

The devotional says this (the writer was talking about public speaking): "I spent time in prayer...I prepared by reviewing the training material and practicing my presentation. I went into the traning trusting in God." So, here are the main action points summed up:

1) Pray
2) Prepare
3) Practice
4) Trust God

I am praying for God to make it clear to me on what I need to do concerning volunteering. I feel like the Next Level area would be a huge challenge, but I get excited when I hear about salvations and life change. God has changed my life so much in the past 2 years and this is just the beginning.

How I spent my week off

The company I work at has a mandatory shutdown the week of July 4th. My initial intention was to fill the week with at least one sermon for 4 days, make a trip to kohls with my mom, and spend lots of time with my husband (plus one afternoon was dedicated to apartment searching). However, the week did not turn out exactly as planned... and it's not all a bad thing.

For starters, what began as a trip to the Apple store to pick up my repaired iPhone ended up being the day we picked up our first kitten. After just the first day of having her, I fell in love with her, and she is the perfect fit for us to start out our family. She is a beautiful Flamepoint Siamese, and quite a spaz. I am learning how to have a lot more patience, since this is my first indoor cat. Growing up with the cats outdoors always gave me a lot of separation time, so I never spent more than 2 hours at a time with any cat.

Tuesday came, and that was the day that I originally planned on going to Kohls. Unfortunately, on my way into my parents' neighborhood, the noise that I've been hearing on my car got worse, so I ended up turning around and trading my shopping trip for an hour at the repair shop. The news I got was that the noise was ultimately pointing to a $700 repair that can wait for a little while but I will have to get done in the next few months.

God has revealed to me exactly how much I've been trusting money. Just a few short months ago, my account had 3 times as much as it does right now. Little by little (or a lot, in some cases), I'm seeing my account go down lower than I've ever had it go. I don't ever want to live paycheck to paycheck, so I'm going to try my best to have a little margin in my account, but I've just come to realize how much trust I actually have been putting in money. Although God definitely wants us to be smart with the resources He's blessed us with, He also commands us to give it when we are prompted to. We are not going without any needs being met, and that is a huge blessing.

I have not yet listened to a sermon completely through this week; however, I did read through Craig Groeschel's book Weird, which is a GREAT and challenging book. Then I started reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan, and it's absolutely awesome. In one chapter, he tells us to put down the book and read John 14-16. I discovered a lot in this chapter...4 pages worth in my written journal.

John 14 opens with this statement: Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father's home. Not having enough room is a problem in our society. We have overcrowded schools, overcrowded buses, and parents selling their homes to buy a bigger home to accomodate their growing family (not to mention the stuff for each family member). Anytime an event is planned, the amount of space is considered for the amount of people attending. Concerts and other entertainment shows become "sold out" and there's not enough room for all the fans. The promise that God's home has more than enough room for everyone is HUGE. We will never have to worry that Heaven will run out of room.

In Jon 14:12-13 Jesus says "Anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father." I don't believe this means we can ask for a Ferrari and a beach house, and we will get it. Nor will it be that we will ask for a specific situation to be immediately resolved, and it will happen. I believe this means if we ask for something that will build God's church and bring glory to Him, we will get it. A similar verse is in John 15:7, "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted." No, Jesus is not a magic genie. If we are in Christ, with the word He has given, we will not be asking for worldly things. The experience that comes to mind is the recent spontaneous baptisms we had at church a few months ago. We started out with Pastor Steven requesting five, and we ended up with 134!

John 16:33 "Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, for I have overcome the world." This life isn't going to be easy. Jesus reminds us, however, that He has overcome the world - nothing is greater than Him on this earth. Not even death can separate us from God.

It's been a while

I haven't updated in a long time, but I've been struggling with something for the past few months and I feel like I should share my thoughts here.

I've been a temp at my job for over a year now, and although I know they're working on getting me approved to be hired, the decision makers at the corporate office of the company are taking their time on saying 'yes'. Meanwhile, I've watched as all but two of the temps brought in after me were hired, plus the emails coming through about new hires at other locations. My positive attitude that I was keeping up at the beginning just came crashing to the ground with each passing month. I know God is going to put me where I need to be, I'm just getting more anxious as the time passes. I received some encouragement from a preacher that works with me, and I know permanent employment is coming. In the middle of my struggle, I asked God to change my perspective on my job, and then I just let the words flow on paper. Here's what came out:

It's more than just sitting at a computer working on spreadsheets. I get to use my computer skills to help other people complete their projects and reports. My strong point is working in computer programs to find and organize information, while their strong point is to analyze the information and take action based on what they find.

It is more than just bringing coffee to the breakroom every morning. It is a chance to brighten someone's day and encourage the production teams. The more I smile at people (even if I don't feel like it at first), the more joyful I feel, which makes me smile even more.

It's more than just shipping samples in the absence of someone else. It is the opportunity to give them the peace of mind that the most urgent portion of their job is getting done while they are on vacation. They know that they will not have to come back to a week's work of requests to fill.

And finally...greeting is more than just smiling and saying 'hello' and 'welcome'. It's welcoming  people into a place where God will ultimately change their life, if they let Him.

I feel like something is going to happen soon. I feel a sense of unrest (but it's a positive unrest) that God is about to take hold of some aspect of our lives. We've signed up to go to the Newspring Leadership Conference this year, and I really feel like God is going to do something in us as a result. I am ready for what comes next.