One step at a time

There are a number of Bible stories that almost everyone is familiar with, no matter which church you grew up in. One of the well known stories of the New Testament is where Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding. I had read this story so many times before that it would have been very easy to just skim over the words without really picking up on anything, but I had previously decided that I was going to read the book of John and find at least one piece of truth in each chapter that I could apply to my daily life. So, I prayed for God to reveal something new to me, and He did.

The truth that stood out to me while reading the story of Jesus turning water into wine is the fact that Jesus did not tell them what would happen; He simply gave them steps to follow. 

John 2:7-8: Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

I know if I needed wine (or tea, or any other drink) and all Jesus told me to do was fill a bunch of jars with water, I would have the attitude of wondering why on earth I’m wasting time with water when I needed to go out and get the drink that I need. That, however, is the training of society: that we must go through the system of buying what we need. As followers of Christ, we should trust Jesus by doing what He says…one step at a time. Here are some areas where I struggle with following one step at a time:

-          When I have a project at work, I like to see an outline so I know exactly what direction I will be going in.

-          When I am driving somewhere new, I like to have the directions from beginning to end right by me. I don’t like driving somewhere with a person telling me turn by turn where to go.

-          When I am going to a meeting, I like to know what is going to be the general purpose and  outline of the meeting.

-          When signing up for something new (for example, registering for college courses) I want to know the process that I will be going through.

Although the fact that we must follow Jesus one step at a time is not new to me, seeing it in scripture reinforces the truth and makes it easier to reference back to whenever I am in a situation where I cannot see the full path ahead of me. I am in one of those situations now, and I have been for over a year, but I trust that God is my Provider and I continue to follow His lead every day. We are all where we are right now because there is a greater purpose for us to fulfill. Some of us may see what we are influencing around us; others may never see it while we are on this earth; but we should all know that there is something bigger happening around us.

Go deeper

I had a amazing experience yesterday, the kind that only God could bring me into. Before I went to church in the evening to volunteer at Next Level (the area in our church where people who have accepted Christ come to be prayed over and receive a Bible), I spent a couple hours reading through devotionals and my Bible, and the last 10 minutes I spent on my knees in silence, ready to hear from God. The phrase “young girl” just kept going through my head, but I wasn’t sure if it was just my own mind thinking up those words. However, I kept my heart open and prayed for God to speak through me. We ended up having a few people come to our table last night, and sure enough…the very last was a young girl. I took the initiative to talk to her and I led everyone in prayer over her, just letting the Holy Spirit speak through me. It was an incredible moment to finally step out of myself and fully give the Holy Spirit control.

I feel like the time I spent in God’s word yesterday afternoon opened up my heart to be able to hear from God. I will be honest here...I go almost all week just barely reading over a devotional before I go on to the other things in my day. I have email devotionals that come to my inbox all day, and I read them when I receive them and pray whatever prayer is included, but I seldom spend much time contemplating over anything or letting the message truly sink into my heart. The Holy Spirit is convicting me that I really need to make this more of a priority, but I know that I cannot do it without God’s help. That being said, here is my challenge:

• I will start by making it a habit on Saturday or Sunday afternoon to spend at least one hour reading my Bible and going through my devotionals in a more concentrated setting than just briefly reading over everything.
• The next step is to spend at least one hour 3 days a week…probably Tuesday, Thursday, and then one of the weekend days.
• Final step is to spend at least 30 minutes reading the Bible and going through devotionals on a daily basis.

I desire to be closer to God, and to spend more time in His Word learning from what He has to say, instead of what the world says.

Opposition

I want to post some words of encouragement for anyone who is doing what God has lead them to do and facing any level of opposition. Ever since my husband and I got engaged and really started getting into what God is planning for us, we have faced a lot of opposition when we have things that we are trying to do. This was our first week of our church eGroup (our church's name for a small group, for those who do not attend Elevation), and we were still in the process of moving all week. After some setbacks with vehicles (camry severely needing a wheel bearing replaced, a punctured tire on the Mazda, and a van we borrowed dying in our driveway) I got very easily frustrated and upset.

Today, I had taken the Camry in for the repair. I received bad news about three hours later, when I finally checked my voicemail on my cell phone and found out that there was more repair work that needed to be done, and it just about doubled the cost. I just closed my office door for privacy, got on my knees, and cried to God that I just didn't have that money. I've been promising myself my entire life (ok...since high school when I was in a financial class) that I was not going to live paycheck to paycheck, but these unexpected expenses are leading me down that road. I have a person at work that as soon as something goes wrong, I go to them and start to complain about what's happened, so I can receive some sympathy. I am praying for God to help me on this, to lead me to always turn to Jesus and then stop there. We are currently in a series at church on Hebrews 12, and Hebrews 12:2 says "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith".  I need to remember to focus on Jesus, especially when faced with problems that life brings.

While some things that happen can be direct hurdles in the way of we are trying to do for God (such as us moving into the house in time to start our small group, without beind frantic), the devil may not always seem to be obviously trying to stop you...he just wants you to become discouraged, aggravated, and impatient, therefore making you less effective for God. Don't give him that victory.

I will close with this: a magazine we just received had an excerpt from Pastor Steven Furtick's blog, and this is what it said, "The circumstances, struggles and attacks you face are not the ultimate determining factor of the kind of life you live. How you use them is. And there isn't a single situation in your life that can't be used for your good and God's glory."

Never Once

"Never once did we ever walk alone, never once did you leave us on our own, you are faithful, God you are faithful"

Those are some of the lyrics to a worship song from Matt Redman that we have been singing recently at church, and it is such a powerful song. As I was doing my devotional from The Message//Remix:Solo today, my thoughts went to these lyrics. I was reading Joshua 1:1-9, and verse 9 in The Message says: "Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.

We are not alone, no matter where we go and what we face each day. Whether we feel happy, sad, irritated, nervous, hurt, lonely, or overwhelmed by what is going on around us, remembering that God is with us brings peace that lasts longer than peace we could receive from any other source.

New Things Ahead

There are so many things coming up in the month of September that I am absolutely excited for. The biggest thing, however, is the leadership conference on the 8th. I cannot wait to attend this event, especially now that Chris and I have been officially approved to lead our eGroup on the book Not A Fan. It is going to be such a fun and challenging experience.

One quote from the book says this: "Following Jesus isn't something you can do at night where no one notices. It's a twenty-four-hour-a-day commitment that will intefere with your life". I have experienced this so much in the past month...lately I have felt a constant need for more of God lately. More and more of my conversations at work are faith-related. My desire to read the Bible or a Christian Inspiration book has outweighed my desire for some of the other things I used to do in my free time. I do still watch TV, browse the internet, etc, but the time I spend doing these things has greatly decreased. I want to be the true follower of Jesus that I am meant to be. I want to remember to ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit on a minute-to-minute basis. And I want to learn how to sit in silence and wait on God. That is my biggest challenge. Just a couple nights ago, I tried this for the first time in a while, sitting for ten minutes. In those ten minutes, I felt very aware of the music that the crickets make at night. With the tv or radio on, you can easily miss it, but when you eliminate all of the distractions you realize how soothing the sounds of nature are.

Pastor Steven announce this past week that Elevation will be having a 12-night revival starting in January. I have never been to a revival in my life, but I am super excited to find out how to be a part of this one. 12 nights of worshiping Jesus and listening to preachers pouring into us so we can pour into the people in our lives sounds good to me!

Final Answer

After months of waiting and praying and hoping, I was given the answer yesterday about Corporate's decision on allowing my managers to hire me. Their answer was no. However, I still have my job as a temp.

I took the news calmly in the HR office, but once I got back to my desk discouragement started to set in. Even though I know God is providing for us, and this is the source of income I have been given, I let the negative points settle in...I won't get paid holidays. I won't get paid vacation. Anytime I want time off, my paycheck will suffer. I won't feel free to ever just take an afternoon off to go to a doctor's appointment because I'll always have to make up the time.

It's easy to let all of those details seem bigger than the fact that I have a job. I didn't walk out of work yesterday to rejoin the unemployment lines. I really believe that this is teaching me to trust God, not my job title. Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding." My own understanding says that this isn't fair, I deserve the full time job with benefits and sick time and vacation and holiday pay. But God says that this is how He is providing for us...I have more than enough income to cover the bills. I can save up some money in a reserve to make up for the pay I would miss when I want to take a vacation day or two, or when a holiday comes up.

I was reading Jon Acuff's book Quitter this morning, and I came across a passage that was very encouraging. It said, "Every decision you make, every path you take, has the ability to contribute something you need to suceed at your dream." I'm still not 100% sure what my dream is. I'm not sure what it is in life I'm going to be doing, besides being a supportive wife to the most amazing husband in the world. But based on what I've seen so far, I'm going to take things one step at a time, and I will be exactly where I am meant to be. I'm learning a lot at this job, both professionally and personally, that I would not have been able to learn by just walking into a job and never going through layoffs and company downsizing, never having to face unemployment and the uncertainty of what comes next.

God is providing for our needs, and although I know I won't be at this company for the rest of my life, I'm there right now, and I'm surrounded by a group of wonderful people who have become an extended family.

Psalm 88...and 89

Psalm 88 spoke to me the other day...but not in a way that made me say, "ah, yeah I've been there, I know that feeling." I haven't been there. Sure, in my life, I've had my share of hard times, and I've had seasons where I felt discouraged and hopeless...but not to the point where I feel like God has forgotten me. I have never experienced something where I could quote the second part of verse 5, "I am forgotten, cut off from your care". I'm scared that there will be a day where I will face feeling like that...but what's interesting is the fact that where Psalm 88 is the voice of someone in pain crying out to God, Psalm 89:1-18 describes characteristics of God: God's love, faithfulness, promises, might and power. The Psalm opens with praise that God's love is unfailing. Psalm 89:1 "I will sing of the Lord's unfailing love forever! Verses 14-15 say this:

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne. Unfailing love and truth walk before you as attendants. Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship, for they will walk in the light of your presence, Lord.

Further on in Psalm 89, it talks about God's promise to David in verse 22 & 24, "His enemies will not defeat him, nor will the wicked overpower him...my faithfulness and unfailing love will be with him, and by my authority he will grow in power." Finally, towards the end, the Psalm goes into crying out in pain to God in verse 50: "Consider Lord, how your servants are disgraced! I carry in my heart the insults of so many people." Yet, the end of the Psalm still says in verse 32 "Praise the Lord forever!" Things don't have to be good before we can praise God. We can praise Him even when we're struggling. It takes a change of heart, but that is something God can work on if we just submit our hearts to Him.

I know it was not a coincidence that these two Psalms are back to back...and the uplifting words come after a psalm full of pain and sadness. After all, when something goes wrong, we it's easy to forget all the stuff that's gone right. Tough circumstances seem to overshadow the good. We need to be reminded of God's goodness and faithfulness when storms come into our lives.

That's not to say that you won't ever face adversity with hope and strength...I'm not saying that at all. But when problems in life start to take us down, we have hope and strength from God to lift us back up.

I pray that if there comes a time where I do feel like Psalm 88, that I also remember to read Psalm 89.