Opposition

I want to post some words of encouragement for anyone who is doing what God has lead them to do and facing any level of opposition. Ever since my husband and I got engaged and really started getting into what God is planning for us, we have faced a lot of opposition when we have things that we are trying to do. This was our first week of our church eGroup (our church's name for a small group, for those who do not attend Elevation), and we were still in the process of moving all week. After some setbacks with vehicles (camry severely needing a wheel bearing replaced, a punctured tire on the Mazda, and a van we borrowed dying in our driveway) I got very easily frustrated and upset.

Today, I had taken the Camry in for the repair. I received bad news about three hours later, when I finally checked my voicemail on my cell phone and found out that there was more repair work that needed to be done, and it just about doubled the cost. I just closed my office door for privacy, got on my knees, and cried to God that I just didn't have that money. I've been promising myself my entire life (ok...since high school when I was in a financial class) that I was not going to live paycheck to paycheck, but these unexpected expenses are leading me down that road. I have a person at work that as soon as something goes wrong, I go to them and start to complain about what's happened, so I can receive some sympathy. I am praying for God to help me on this, to lead me to always turn to Jesus and then stop there. We are currently in a series at church on Hebrews 12, and Hebrews 12:2 says "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith".  I need to remember to focus on Jesus, especially when faced with problems that life brings.

While some things that happen can be direct hurdles in the way of we are trying to do for God (such as us moving into the house in time to start our small group, without beind frantic), the devil may not always seem to be obviously trying to stop you...he just wants you to become discouraged, aggravated, and impatient, therefore making you less effective for God. Don't give him that victory.

I will close with this: a magazine we just received had an excerpt from Pastor Steven Furtick's blog, and this is what it said, "The circumstances, struggles and attacks you face are not the ultimate determining factor of the kind of life you live. How you use them is. And there isn't a single situation in your life that can't be used for your good and God's glory."

Never Once

"Never once did we ever walk alone, never once did you leave us on our own, you are faithful, God you are faithful"

Those are some of the lyrics to a worship song from Matt Redman that we have been singing recently at church, and it is such a powerful song. As I was doing my devotional from The Message//Remix:Solo today, my thoughts went to these lyrics. I was reading Joshua 1:1-9, and verse 9 in The Message says: "Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.

We are not alone, no matter where we go and what we face each day. Whether we feel happy, sad, irritated, nervous, hurt, lonely, or overwhelmed by what is going on around us, remembering that God is with us brings peace that lasts longer than peace we could receive from any other source.

New Things Ahead

There are so many things coming up in the month of September that I am absolutely excited for. The biggest thing, however, is the leadership conference on the 8th. I cannot wait to attend this event, especially now that Chris and I have been officially approved to lead our eGroup on the book Not A Fan. It is going to be such a fun and challenging experience.

One quote from the book says this: "Following Jesus isn't something you can do at night where no one notices. It's a twenty-four-hour-a-day commitment that will intefere with your life". I have experienced this so much in the past month...lately I have felt a constant need for more of God lately. More and more of my conversations at work are faith-related. My desire to read the Bible or a Christian Inspiration book has outweighed my desire for some of the other things I used to do in my free time. I do still watch TV, browse the internet, etc, but the time I spend doing these things has greatly decreased. I want to be the true follower of Jesus that I am meant to be. I want to remember to ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit on a minute-to-minute basis. And I want to learn how to sit in silence and wait on God. That is my biggest challenge. Just a couple nights ago, I tried this for the first time in a while, sitting for ten minutes. In those ten minutes, I felt very aware of the music that the crickets make at night. With the tv or radio on, you can easily miss it, but when you eliminate all of the distractions you realize how soothing the sounds of nature are.

Pastor Steven announce this past week that Elevation will be having a 12-night revival starting in January. I have never been to a revival in my life, but I am super excited to find out how to be a part of this one. 12 nights of worshiping Jesus and listening to preachers pouring into us so we can pour into the people in our lives sounds good to me!

Final Answer

After months of waiting and praying and hoping, I was given the answer yesterday about Corporate's decision on allowing my managers to hire me. Their answer was no. However, I still have my job as a temp.

I took the news calmly in the HR office, but once I got back to my desk discouragement started to set in. Even though I know God is providing for us, and this is the source of income I have been given, I let the negative points settle in...I won't get paid holidays. I won't get paid vacation. Anytime I want time off, my paycheck will suffer. I won't feel free to ever just take an afternoon off to go to a doctor's appointment because I'll always have to make up the time.

It's easy to let all of those details seem bigger than the fact that I have a job. I didn't walk out of work yesterday to rejoin the unemployment lines. I really believe that this is teaching me to trust God, not my job title. Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding." My own understanding says that this isn't fair, I deserve the full time job with benefits and sick time and vacation and holiday pay. But God says that this is how He is providing for us...I have more than enough income to cover the bills. I can save up some money in a reserve to make up for the pay I would miss when I want to take a vacation day or two, or when a holiday comes up.

I was reading Jon Acuff's book Quitter this morning, and I came across a passage that was very encouraging. It said, "Every decision you make, every path you take, has the ability to contribute something you need to suceed at your dream." I'm still not 100% sure what my dream is. I'm not sure what it is in life I'm going to be doing, besides being a supportive wife to the most amazing husband in the world. But based on what I've seen so far, I'm going to take things one step at a time, and I will be exactly where I am meant to be. I'm learning a lot at this job, both professionally and personally, that I would not have been able to learn by just walking into a job and never going through layoffs and company downsizing, never having to face unemployment and the uncertainty of what comes next.

God is providing for our needs, and although I know I won't be at this company for the rest of my life, I'm there right now, and I'm surrounded by a group of wonderful people who have become an extended family.

Psalm 88...and 89

Psalm 88 spoke to me the other day...but not in a way that made me say, "ah, yeah I've been there, I know that feeling." I haven't been there. Sure, in my life, I've had my share of hard times, and I've had seasons where I felt discouraged and hopeless...but not to the point where I feel like God has forgotten me. I have never experienced something where I could quote the second part of verse 5, "I am forgotten, cut off from your care". I'm scared that there will be a day where I will face feeling like that...but what's interesting is the fact that where Psalm 88 is the voice of someone in pain crying out to God, Psalm 89:1-18 describes characteristics of God: God's love, faithfulness, promises, might and power. The Psalm opens with praise that God's love is unfailing. Psalm 89:1 "I will sing of the Lord's unfailing love forever! Verses 14-15 say this:

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne. Unfailing love and truth walk before you as attendants. Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship, for they will walk in the light of your presence, Lord.

Further on in Psalm 89, it talks about God's promise to David in verse 22 & 24, "His enemies will not defeat him, nor will the wicked overpower him...my faithfulness and unfailing love will be with him, and by my authority he will grow in power." Finally, towards the end, the Psalm goes into crying out in pain to God in verse 50: "Consider Lord, how your servants are disgraced! I carry in my heart the insults of so many people." Yet, the end of the Psalm still says in verse 32 "Praise the Lord forever!" Things don't have to be good before we can praise God. We can praise Him even when we're struggling. It takes a change of heart, but that is something God can work on if we just submit our hearts to Him.

I know it was not a coincidence that these two Psalms are back to back...and the uplifting words come after a psalm full of pain and sadness. After all, when something goes wrong, we it's easy to forget all the stuff that's gone right. Tough circumstances seem to overshadow the good. We need to be reminded of God's goodness and faithfulness when storms come into our lives.

That's not to say that you won't ever face adversity with hope and strength...I'm not saying that at all. But when problems in life start to take us down, we have hope and strength from God to lift us back up.

I pray that if there comes a time where I do feel like Psalm 88, that I also remember to read Psalm 89.

5 Years later

Five years. Just how much can change in five years? Compared to a span of 20 years, five doesn't seem like that long of a time. But look at it this way: you're in kindergarden, and five years later you're entering 5th grade. You've gone from learning the basics of writing letters and numbers and how to read words, to actually reading textbooks to learn and doing advanced math problems and working with fractions and decimals. In five years, you go from the upper grades of elementary school to the first year of high school. In five years, you're done with high school and you're either starting college or starting longer working hours (or both, in some cases).

In the past five years since high school, a lot has changed in my life. I went from a teenager who dreaded church and thought it was boring to a 23-year old who looks forward to reading the Bible every day and who desires to hear God's direction for her life. I tried doing things my own way and learned that God's way is best. I've been through two job layoffs and I am back at the company I started with (although I'm still waiting for a "permanent" position in the company). I've seen my dad's health get worse, with bad days outnumbering the good - and I still struggle to be the encouragement my mom needs. My best friend since middle school and I have drifted apart and we don't really talk anymore - and I never saw that coming. However, I have developed a closer friendship with a friend from my senior year in high school. After struggling with being with the wrong person for years, once I surrendered everything to God He brought me to the right person, and we have been happily married for 3 months. It hasn't been trouble-free: life has thrown some challenges at us already, and we have had to take a few risks. But we stand together and face life as a united front.

Here is a list of things I've learned in the first five years after high school:

1. Faith is not about following religious rules, being a good person, and going to church every week. Faith is having your own relationship with God and trusting Him even when things are hard and don't make sense. You're not just going to church: you are the church.
2. God's grace and salvation through Christ beats anything this world could ever offer. With these gifts (because they're free...you don't have to do anything except accept them) comes peace and strength, plus freedom from guilt and shame regarding mistakes we've made.
3. Take the lessons of experience from those around you into consideration when making big decisions.
4. If you don't sincerely believe something you're saying, people can tell.
5. Be careful with getting into debt for a car. Either save up and pay for it outright, or buy something affordable that's also reasonably new with low mileage. The longer your payment terms, the more repairs and maintenance you are going to have on top of your payment. This drains money FAST.
6. Your parents want the best for you, and they want you to be happy. However, they are human and sometimes make mistakes in the way they communicate their concerns.
7. High school drama seems silly once you've been out in the real world for a while.
8. Debit cards are great, but it's best to pull out a limited amount of spending money and stop spending once it's gone. Watching the money coming out of your wallet is more effective than swiping plastic through a machine.
9. Be careful with credit card debt. It is very easy to rack up your balance above what you can pay off in one payment. You are more likely to think twice about charging large amounts,  but it's the multiple smaller amounts that get you.
10. Refuse to be the only responsible one in a dating relationship. There should never been one person paying for everything. If they don't want to lift a finger financially, RUN. If they don't want to get a job, RUN FASTER.
11. The former me that thought church and the Bible was boring would have seen what this list was and just skip over it...but I challenege you to read them anyway, and at least consider what a few of them mean to you. Here are some verses that I live by:
• Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
• Proverbs 4:23 - Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
• Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
• Psalm 16:8 - I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
• Romans 2:4 - Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you?
• Romans 12:12 - Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
• 2 Corinthians 4:18 - So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
• Ephesians 3:20 - Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
• Ephesians 4:2 - Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.
• Philippians 4:13 - For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
• 1 Timothy 4:12 - Don't let anything think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
• 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Something's coming soon

I've been having this feeling lately that God is about to move in a big way in my life. I have no clue what that's going to look like just yet, but I just have this unsettled feeling that something is coming. I mentioned this at the beginning of July, but the feeling keeps getting stronger.

I feel like God is challenging me to step out of my comfort zone in two areas: leadership and volunteering. It all started last spring when I was in my first small group from church, and the leader contacted me one day and wanted to meet. She said she really saw leadership potential in me, and ever since then I've been reading a couple blogs on leadership. Chris and I even signed up for the Newspring Leadership Conference that is happening in September. Just recently Chris discovered the book Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman, and we both ended up reading it. He has decided to start an eGroup about this book, and I'm excited about this starting up. Even though he's the official leader, as his wife I will definitely have some part in leading the group.

Concerning volunteering, I have been on the greeting team at Elevation since last March. This position is somewhat challenging for me, because even though I like to smile and be welcoming, I'm also an introvert and therefore naturally quiet. However, a few months ago David McGuirk was standing at the Next Level table, and we started talking (he was a part of my Starting Point group when I accepted Christ in 2009). He told me that I should consider volunteering on the Next Level team, and at the time I was very intimidated by the idea. My biggest fear is that I will not know what to say, especially when it comes time to pray with the person who has just received Christ. However, the thought has been resurfacing recently. I am making sure that this is from God and not just me feeling bored with where I'm currently serving.

I was reading a devotional a few days ago, and the main scripture for that day was Joshua 1:1-9. These verses have been speaking to me about both of these situations, along with my life in general. I've always said that I'm happy being someone's assistant and handling the details, and I'd rather someone else be the face to present the information. Joshua 1:1 challenged me on this, where Joshua was called "Moses' assistant." God appointed an assistant to be a leader...and a leader of a very big movement, at that. Then God promises this in verses 5 and 9: "I will not fail you or abandon you...be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

The devotional says this (the writer was talking about public speaking): "I spent time in prayer...I prepared by reviewing the training material and practicing my presentation. I went into the traning trusting in God." So, here are the main action points summed up:

1) Pray
2) Prepare
3) Practice
4) Trust God

I am praying for God to make it clear to me on what I need to do concerning volunteering. I feel like the Next Level area would be a huge challenge, but I get excited when I hear about salvations and life change. God has changed my life so much in the past 2 years and this is just the beginning.