Looking back, I see that so many of the moments in my life that have seemed unbearable were the moments God used to mold me into the person that I am. It is now almost an automatic response to ask God what His purpose is behind every challenge I face (although…I’ll be honest…some times my tone is angrier than others). My dad’s job loss when I was in middle school wasn’t easy on our family, but it gave me a year to spend time with him where he wasn’t tired from working all day. My dad becoming disabled right before I began high school was one of the most traumatizing events for my family, but the disability income benefits that followed was the income for my family all throughout my high school years. I also developed an attitude of respect and consideration for those who are handicapped.
Going through the first semester of community college was hard, because I was working 40 hours in addition to taking two courses. My day started at 7:30 a.m. and ended at 6:30 p.m. However, by taking the classes I developed a friendship with the girl that gave me my first bible. That bible was what I turned to during the year that I was out of church. Leaving my parents church was the biggest argument I ever faced with my mother, but it ultimately opened the door to an amazing church that has been where I got saved and have grown and met some wonderful people. I was laid off from my first job just a few months after I started going to Elevation Church, and that caused me to lean on God a bit more than I had before. Finally, dealing with conflict in my life brought me to truly see and experience the love of Jesus, which changed my entire life and gave me a fresh image of what love is.
This year my vision for my life is this: Seek, grow, trust. I desire to seek God more this year…I want to grow in my walk with Christ…and I want to learn to trust both God and the people around me more. Experiences in life have caused me to not trust people as easily as I once did, and I face the same struggle when trusting that God will really provide for us when the numbers look scary. I struggle with trusting that things will ever change for the better for my dad’s health and my mom’s stamina to handle everything.
Below is my life verse (Romans 12:12), followed by the two verses that I will memorize and focus on this year.
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. Romans 12:12
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1
God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. – Pslam 46:1
Even when we cannot see what is up ahead, God is a constant in our lives, and He is there through every moment of every day. He already knows what is coming, and He is preparing us now.
